Jan 29, 2024
You Just Need a Kick in the Butt




Swaying back and forth on the shimmering water, a small fleet of yachts line the pier with a backdrop of history-rich brick buildings. Full of quaint coffee shops and cafes, downtown Annapolis is a charming, beautiful place.

Just around the corner, stands the Naval Academy. Military personnel, students and teachers alike, rotate through year after year, proudly serving with honor, courage, and commitment. In a place like this, integrity and discipline are expected.

Discipline is required.

As leaders, our ability to lead others is reflected, or perhaps demonstrated, by our ability to lead ourselves. And honestly, many times the hardest person to lead is ourselves.

To grow as leaders, we must grow our ability to lead ourselves well and to be disciplined.

Craig on the Craig Groeschel leadership podcast points out, “Successful leaders do consistently what other leaders do occasionally.”

So if I want to be a better leader, then I need to consistently be more self-led and self-disciplined.

But that’s hard.

That’s why we see so many goals fail. Only about 9% of New Year’s Resolutions succeed, which is why the Win Your Goals blog series is all about developing a goal executing system in our lives.

First, we’ve talked about creating identity-based goals. Second, we dove into focusing on the more important things and articulating SMARTER goals. Then, we discussed breaking our goals down into manageable action steps to create a roadmap of mini-wins. Last week was all about strategies to implement good habits that propel you closer to your goal.

Those things are all crucial to reaching your goals.

Whether your goal is to grow as a communicator, lose weight, or learn a new skill, putting these systems into place will drastically increase your chances to succeed.

But there is one more step to this 5-step process. And this final step is perhaps the most important.




When we lived in the Annapolis area, I had several friends who served as active military at the academy. I admired these friends for not only having hearts of generosity and willingness to love and serve others but also for their determination to lead and be self-disciplined. One of these friends in particular had the discipline of waking up very early each morning.

Well, in this season of life, I was the mom of a high energy toddler. I wanted to get into a better rhythm, waking up earlier to have a few quiet moments to myself before jumping into the activities of the day.

Morning after morning, with good intentions, my alarm would blair. Groggily, I’d hit snooze and cover my head with my pillow, quickly slipping back into dreamland.

I told my friend about my desire to get up earlier to exercise and have a little “me-time” before my son woke up.

She immediately offered to call me every morning to wake me up. I accepted.

Now I had an accountability partner.

The next morning, my alarm sounded. I hit the snooze as normal. But then she called. She talked to me on the phone until I was out of bed and on our stationary bike.

Day after day, she called and I rolled out of bed. But within a few days, I began getting out of bed before her call. Within a couple weeks, I was in the routine of getting out of bed and no longer needed her phone calls.

Because of her diligence to hold me accountable, I was able to achieve my goal.




When you have a third-party accountability partner that checks in with you weekly, you are 95% more likely to achieve your goal.

That statistic is game changing.

A third-party accountability partner is someone who is removed from your situation who can check in with you regularly to keep you on track.

Our first thought may be to ask a family member, friend, or coworker to be our accountability partner. Sometimes this works well. Many times, it’s not a good fit.

Ask these questions to see if your family member or friend would be a good accountability partner:

1)    Are they reliable and able to touch base consistently every week?

2)    Would they be willing to call you out when you don’t follow through?

3)    Could this put a strain on your relationship?

My military friend passed these three questions with flying colors and was an excellent accountability partner for this particular goal. But if we are honest with ourselves, most of us don’t have this type of person in our lives.

Having a third-party accountability partner who is removed from your situation not only gives them a unique and helpful outside perspective, but also provides the freedom to respectively give you a much-needed kick in the butt without jeopardizing any relationships.

Coaches make excellent accountability partners, pushing you to be your best self and win your goals.

Learn more about Speak with People’s coaching programs HERE.

Create focused goals that align with your passions and values, and map out a plan with practical action steps. Implement good habits that propel you closer to your goal and find an accountability partner to keep you on track.

It's time to stop mindlessly following the crowd. Stop chasing someone else's dream. Craft your own goals that are unique to you, intentionally pointing you in the direction you want to go. Live your life with purpose.

Break free from the lemmings and begin charting your own course.


By Caitlyn Neel - Cofounder, Speak with People

As a Certified Life Coach, Caitlyn uses proven tools and powerful exercises to customize a journey of personal and professional growth so that you can accomplish your goals. For one-on-one coaching, learn about Speak with People's Life Design Program.