The Secret to Building Trust, Loyalty, and Long-Term Growth

Speak With Your Client, Not At Them: The Secret to Building Trust, Loyalty, and Long-Term Growth

Not long ago, I was sitting across from a high-performing sales executive who looked me dead in the eye and asked, “What’s the big deal with this whole ‘speak with your client, not at them’ thing you always talk about?”

He wasn’t being snarky. He genuinely didn’t get it.

“In my world,” he told me, “if a client doesn’t want what I’m offering, I move on. Or better yet, I close them fast. I’ve got three go-to ways to get a client into a corner, and once they’re there, I can usually get the deal.”

He smiled proudly. “It works. I’ve been number one on the board more than a few times.”

But as we kept talking, a fuller picture started to emerge. This same sales leader, despite their impressive closing stats, had a serious churn problem. Clients were dropping off after the sale. Referrals were almost nonexistent. Renewals rarely happened. And the pipeline was always in emergency mode.

Here’s the truth: forceful, manipulative, high-pressure tactics can work, for a moment. But they don’t build anything that lasts. They don’t inspire loyalty. They don’t create advocates. And they don’t lead to long-term revenue growth.

Why?

Because no one wants to stay in a relationship with someone who cornered them.

What Does It Mean to Speak With Your Client?

It means you don’t pressure. You don’t manipulate. You don’t bulldoze.

Instead, you speak with humility and confidence. You create a safe, open space for real connection. You serve before you sell.

I’ve lost count of the number of DMs and cold emails I’ve received that basically say, “Buy now or else.” That’s speaking at someone. That’s trying to force trust instead of earning it.

Speaking with your client is an entirely different posture. It’s not just about selling a product, it’s about earning permission to be part of their story.

It’s about building what every lasting business relationship is built on:
 

Know. Like. Trust.

Let’s break this down into a framework that’s not just inspiring—but practical.

The K.L.T. Framework: How to Speak With Your Client

1. Know: Help Your Clients Know You’re Human First

Before your client trusts your expertise, they need to know your heart. They need to know you’re not just in it for the sale—but for them.

Practical Application:

• Start with curiosity, not your pitch. Ask about their story. Learn what matters to them outside the transaction. Listen more than you speak.
  
  
• Share who you are. Not your resume, your “why.” Why you care. Why you do what you do. Why you’re passionate about helping people like them.
  
  

People don’t connect with polished perfection. They connect with people who are real, honest, and human.

“Clients don’t need you to be impressive. They need you to be interested.”

2. Like: Build Genuine Connection Through Shared Respect

When you speak at your client, you’re creating a wall. When you speak with them, you’re building a bridge.

That bridge is built through kindness, respect, and conversation, not pressure, persuasion, and pitch-decks.

Practical Application:

• Mirror their communication style. Are they analytical? Personal? Fast-paced? Visual? Learn their wiring and match it with intention.
  
  
• Use your expertise second. Don’t lead with how much you know. Lead with how much you care. Then, let your knowledge support their journey, not dominate it.
  
  

People buy from those they feel comfortable with. If the tone is too aggressive or overly formal, it erodes likability, and without likability, trust is out of reach.

“You’re not just closing deals. You’re opening doors for a relationship.”

3. Trust: Earn It, Don’t Demand It

Trust doesn’t come in the first meeting. It’s not owed to you because of your title or years in the industry.

Trust is built when your words and your actions align. When your follow-up is consistent. When your questions are thoughtful. When your care is real.

Practical Application:

• Ask better questions. Not transactional ones, transformational ones. Ask about their dreams. Ask about what keeps them up at night. Ask about their “why.”
  
  
• Be consistent. Do what you say you’ll do. Follow up. Send the resource. Check in. Show up prepared.
  
  

When you speak with your client over time—really listen, truly show up, and consistently deliver, you don’t just win a sale. You win a relationship.

“Trust is the currency of every thriving business—and it’s earned through communication, not closing techniques.”

Want Referrals, Loyalty, and Revenue Growth?

Then stop shouting. Stop cornering. Stop trying to convince people to do business with you.

Start showing them what it’s like to be served, to be heard, and to be guided.

Want to become the kind of advisor, banker, or service provider that people refer again and again?

Speak with your client, not at them.

Because when clients know you, like you, and trust you, they stay. They buy again. They bring their friends.

Recap: How to Speak With Your Client Using the K.L.T. Framework

✅ Know – Be curious. Be real. Let them see your heart.
✅ Like – Speak their language. Be someone they enjoy interacting with.
✅ Trust – Show up consistently. Ask great questions. Keep your word.

At Speak with People, we help professionals across the financial industry master this kind of communication, because it works. We’ve seen it transform teams, client relationships, and bottom lines.

If you want to equip your financial advisors or licensed bankers to build lasting relationships with clients, generate more referrals, and close more business the right way…

👉 Email Cory at [email protected] and let’s get a training on the calendar.

Because real success starts with real conversations.

By Jason Raitz - CEO, Speak with People  With over 25 years of experience, Jason has spoken from stages across the country, inspiring and motivating his audiences with stories, laughter, and practical tools to succeed. Book Jason for your next conference or workshop.